Where on Earth to Start?

I'm lucky to be alive. I'm lucky that my boys, Zach and Alex, were absolutely perfect after delivery and are showing no ill effects from my condition. I'm lucky to be out of the hospital to recover at home, where I can finally be with my family.

It looks like my diagnosis is HELLP syndrome, something that only happens in .02 to .08 percent of pregnancies. And evidently, I am one of the worst cases the doctors have seen. The "cure" for Hellp is delivery, and once you've delivered it's supposed to resolve quickly. Well, I delivered almost a month ago. Who knows how long recovery will take. I know Jamie at Sticky Feet has been giving updates through all this, so I'm not sure what you all may know about my condition already and what happened to me.

When I just reread my last post before all this went down, I saw the line about my mom having sympathy for my condition and how this means I might be about to die. It makes me shudder. I had a really bad feeling Saturday through Monday that something wasn't right, but all the signs I exhibited were really things that could have been perfectly normal ones for how far I was with the twins. If I had called the doctor on Saturday, it likely wouldn't have made a difference in what happened or the severity of it.

Anyhow, there's plenty of time to get into the nightmare that was my 2 plus weeks in the hospital.

I want to say a big thank you for the gift Jamie, The Woman Who Cried Pregnant, Lisa, Hopeful Mother, Jonesing for a Baby and Motel Manager sent to me. When I saw who it was from I was truly stunned and I cried happy tears. Couldn't believe you tracked me down in that hospital. It's funny that Jamie comments about the boys needing to share the teddy bear...a few hours after the package arrived, I received an identical one from a family friend. The first thing H and I said was--how perfect is that?--now the boys will both have their own bear!!!