If it's a Couple Thing, Why Am Only I the Patient?

As far as wanting IF treatment to be more couple centered, I couldn't agree with the post by Jweitl5 more. Before I knew we had a problem, I had a few co-workers tell me about some of their friend's IF problems and about how centers these days really treat the WHOLE couple, not just the woman. They told me that couples were expected to come to appointments together and both people were treated as patients, even though most of the treatment focuses on the woman. Now, I had no reason to be interested in this at the time, but it stuck with me. Imagine my surprise when we started IF treatment at what's considered the premier IF center on the East Coast, and all the paper work only refers to me as the patient, not me and my husband. And we're dealing with male factor infertility! When we sign in, it has a spot for patient's name (clearly meaning the woman), and then spouse's name. I always fill in both of our names as patient. It bugs me. My husband is on board with this being a joint process, but when he has a conflict with work, I know I'll be going to things alone. Yesterday I had my blood taken for the Cystic Fibrosis test--which is just a precaution and could have been done by either one of us, since both people have to be CF carriers to pass it on to a baby. I HATE needles and giving blood, so H was going to be the one to do this until our nurse told him that it had to be me. We asked why since I had read about other couples who had the man do it. If H tested positive for CF, then logically I'd have to take the test too. But if he didn't, there was no risk and no reason for me to do it. I got a " just because" answer from the nurse, and was told that I shouldn't be so worried about giving blood. I couldn't believe it. I like our center, but they have let me down in making this about "the couple."

Sigh. My arm didn't really hurt from giving the blood sample. But still.