A Transfer Story

I've just been released from bedrest from my very strict husband. He wouldn't let me anywhere near the computer, and I left my laptop at work.

We transferred two 7-celled embryos yesterday. The RE didn't grade them in terms of quality, but everyone said they looked really good and I thought they looked quite beautiful in their picture, which I will try to post later. H thought they looked like very round cartoon heads, like Peanuts characters, so we are calling them Charlie and Sally Brown.

Of the rest of the six, 2 hadn't grown at all, one was at 2 cells, and the other was at 3 cells. They said they'd watch them until Monday to see if they catch up and grow into blasts. My clinic only freezes blasts.

Up to this point, I felt I had gotten through the many tests, shots, procedures, and examinations with a good deal of grace and minimal-to-no whining. I've been surprised at how well my body has taken all of it. Guess I was saving it for the transfer. My bladder was so full and painful that the nurse had to let me empty it a little twice before transfer began (In my defense, they were 15 minutes behind with my appointment, and I arrived with the full bladder right on time.)

There were a total of 4 people in the tiny room in addition to me and H, and I had met NONE of them before, except for the embriologist, who had delivered the bad news about H's sperm sample to me at retrieval. I liked her because she has the same name as me and she was the only person I knew there at the moment. I couldn't help but think that she was a little too young to be handling my unborn children, but we'll see. The doctor performing the transfer was a young female also, and she was supervised by the typical older male RE I'm used to. I'm hoping that having a "woman's touch" is a good thing. The extra women in the room did manage to put me a little more at ease.

I was in a lot of pain when they put the catheter in and the nurse pushed on my stomach. That bladder was really unhappy. The whole thing was over quickly, but my stomach was so cramped and I had to pee so bad that it felt like an eternity. I couldn't watch the monitor. H had his head in the way, and I didn't even consider asking him to move. I just stared at the dim overhead lightbulb and tried to keep my whimpering to a minimum. I hope that my miserable state of being at the moment of transfer did not make a bad first impression for Sally and Charlie.

After I was able to empty my bladder, I felt better but was still very crampy. We had a long drive home, so we sang along to a selection of songs I picked out on the Ipod to make our embies see we are fun-loving, happy, relaxed people that they could feel at home with. A little Bob Marley and OAR did the trick.

I got home, had some Popeyes fried chicken with H, and then slept for 4 hours. It was a very deep sleep, and I woke up feeling sweaty and a little gross. I was a good patient and had my dinner and bed, and we started to watch Scary Movie 4 around 9 pm, thinking some laughs would also be good for the embies. Our spirits were very high, and it was the happiest I'd seen H in weeks.

Not 5 minutes into the movie, H's mom called to tell us his grandmother (H's father's mom) had passed away. Goodbye positive mood. H's grandmother was 95 and has been "ready" for several years now, according to her own words. We were all prepared for this to happen soon, but H was still very shaken up, understandably. MIL did not remember that we had transfer today, and H reminded her. She didn't really say anything about it. Part of me wishes she could have waited until morning to call us--it was such an emotional day as it was and it was late. Ending the day on that note was very difficult.

We will make the long drive to the funeral on Tuesday or Wednesday this week. I am bracing myself to see H's family. Seeing them is not good for me this week because of all the stress they cause. I removed my earlier post explaining my issues with them because it had too many specific details that I know they'd recognize if they stumble onto my blog. I just hope I can get through this without them saying anything innappropriate that will set me off.

I'm hoping my little embies will have locked in tight by the time I see everyone. Concern for their well being should allow me to maintain a Zen-like state through this.