Two Weird Encounters

Last night I went to the dentist, and when the assistant put the X-ray vest on me, I quietly asked her if we could skip the X-rays this time. She smiled and said—period a little late is it? I said—oh, I’m a little more positive than that, but it’s way too early to discuss. Then she flat out asks me—no warning or reason—did you do fertility drugs? I was taken aback and said, well, not exactly, but we did need help. (I always think taking fertility drugs specifically means you used clomid. Now, we all know I’ve been plenty hopped up on IVF fertility drugs, but they were only a means to the larger procedure.) She launched into how she had to take clomid and how her daughters both had trouble conceiving but finally did with drugs. We talked a little more, and somehow the topic of age came up. I mentioned that most women in my family waited until their early thirties to have kids, even my grandmother. She asked when my grandmother had her first, and I said 32—it was her first and only pregnancy because she had twins. And get this, she asks me—did your grandmother do IVF? I bit my tongue to keep from laughing since this woman was going to have sharp instruments in my mouth any moment. No, I said, twins just run in my family…heavily.

I knew I’d have to get used to these types of conversations with people, but so soon? And so randomly?

The second incident I brought upon myself. I snuck over to the pregnancy section of Borders book store to grab a copy of What to Eat When You Are Expecting. I figured that establishing the right eating habits was important enough that I could buy this book now, even so soon. I was about to creep away to pay for it when two young girls came up behind me. “Oh, are you pregnant?!,” the one exclaims. “Um. A little. Maybe, we’ll see,” I stammered. “Well are you or not?” she demanded. I managed to say, “I got a positive on Friday.” “Congratulations,” she said. “I tested positive yesterday.” She and the friend went cheerfully on their way picking out tons of pregnancy books while I booked it (ha ha) to the sales counter. My face was red and I felt flustered, but also a little pleased. I just sorta passed for a p-woman.