Waiting for the Beta…with a Teaser

*Update: The clinic still hasn't called me. It's 3:10. Argh!!! How come they always call me immediately about stupid stuff, but then drag their feet on this. I remember how they said making beta calls was always the first order of the afternoon.

Today is 14dp3dt. This morning at 12:00 am, I was awoken again by very painful cramps. Worse than anything I normally get for my period. I rushed to the bathroom to make sure AF was not there, and she wasn’t. I thought about how my morning would be today, no doubt spent googling my “symptoms,” checking blogs, and praying until the phone call came with the beta results. I have a lot of work to do today, I thought. I can’t be slacking off all morning wondering and worrying. The thought of crying at work terrified me if I got bad news. I forced myself back to bed, cramps still raging, and finally fell back asleep, bladder empty, HPT untouched.

When the alarm went off at 5:30, I crept down to the most remote bathroom in the house and pulled out the hidden HPT. Mustering all of my courage and throwing all good sense to the wind, I unwrapped it and let the fun begin.

Within seconds I got a fully dark positive. Oh My God. I stared at it on the floor for the required “two minute” wait time. The plus sign stayed just as dark. I’ve done HPTs twice before, so while I’m not an addict I know what a negative looks like. This was definitely a positive.

I ran upstairs with it, turned on the bedroom lights, and shook H. I think I scared the crap out of him. When his eyes stopped squinting and he saw the stick, he immediately lectured me. Then he saw the plus sign. And I got my first real smile out of him in the past 6 months.

After he lectured me a few more times about how the HSG could still be in my system or how I might just have a mega cyst growing, he scrutinized the HPT instructions and the stick. Satisfied that this was more of a positive sign than a negative one, he gave in to feeling happy and we danced around the bathroom.

I know this is far from over. It could be chemical, ectoptic, ill-fated. But I would not trade the feeling of seeing a positive for the world. This morning, I feel like me again. I had forgotten what it was like.

I had my beta test at 8:15 am. I’ll get a call with the results between 1:30 and 4:00. Will post ASAP. Please, please, please let this be real.