Needles and Stuff

Tomorrow is the big day-- My first Lupron shot! I’m expecting my big box of meds (well, not too big since I didn’t do a complete order) to arrive any time now. I’m taking comfort in the fact that just about everybody out there has said the shots themselves aren’t so bad. I hate needles! If I can get through all the jabbing, I know I will emerge from this process a much more fearless person. Not too many things scare me, but needles have always been high on the list. I’m not good with the sight of blood either. Ah, perhaps this little journey is just what I need to toughen me up. I think I’d rather have stayed a softie and have had my baby by now. I remember that I used to be scared at the thought of delivering a baby. I think that will be a piece of cake now.

Quick question--do any of you do your shots in places other than the tummy? I have much more flab on my upper arms and thighs, while my stomach is pretty unpinchable (don't hate me--I swear I have flabby upper arms). Should I just suck it up and do the belly where it won't be seen, or should I go for a more pinchable arm?

For today, I’m just trying to stay positive. I’ve been eating right all week and haven’t had any wine or coffee. I think the BCPs made me put on a few pounds. Caution: too much information ahead-- I’ve been very bloated, and I’ve had an icky brown discharge the whole time I’ve been on the pill. I asked my doctor if this was normal when I went for my mock transfer last Friday. I kinda got an “eh” answer. Right after I told him about all the goo, and some unusual cramping, he said it was probably just breakthrough bleeding. I said it didn’t look like break-through bleeding. Again, the answer was “eh.” Then he begins the procedure and announces that I have a brown discharge. Well, duh, that’s what I was talking about. He said he saw a cyst on my ovary, but it wasn’t too big. I hope cysts won’t ruin my cycle. I keep reminding them that I have a history of painful, erupting cysts, but no one seems to think it’s a big deal. Maybe it’s not. Can anyone tell me how to go into “eh” mode myself?

I have to say that the mock transfer wasn’t nearly as horrible as it sounds. It was over before I knew it. The whole name “mock transfer” sounds like something out of an X-Files episode. I used to love that show. And now that I think about it, Agent Scully was one of us. She had her eggs stolen by aliens, and when she finally got them back in a vial she did in vitro with Mulder to have a baby. Who knew that infertility had been a subtle subplot of one of my favorite sci-fi shows. I may have to go back and watch old episodes.